A Lost comic question in return! Did you read Benry Knows Best? http://benryknowsbest.livejournal.com
No! But obviously, I will now.
Side note: I had two friends who, right through the final season, continued to call Ben “Benry” or even “Henry Gale Guy”. Maybe I’m biased because I knew him as Ben first (started watching during season 3 and watching the first two during that long break they did), but, wha?
YES. A friend who connects to LOST in this really intense spiritual way got me into it during my freshman year of college. We had totally stereotypical “NO TALKING DURING LOST” viewings, though we didn’t record and rewind for clues, we were more into the character stuff. We watched the whole final season on a big projector screen in our favorite coffee shop (the owners were our friends and also fans). Oh my gosh, LOST. Sometimes I remember it’s over and get really sad.
“If they pursue this as you are a creep, you should play it up with them initially only to reveal that the tape was made beforehand confirming this was a gag,” the document states. “If they [CNN] admit it was a gag, you should release the footage and focus on the fact they got punked, and make sure to emphasize Abbie’s name and overall status to help burden her career with this video, incident and her bad judgment in pursuing you so aggressively.”
Finally, “if they go on the attack, you should point out the hypocrisy in CNN using the inherent sexuality of these women to sell viewers and for ratings, passing up more esteemed and respectable journalists who aren’t bubble-headed bleach blondes and keep the focus on CNN.”
Creepy dude with serious credibility issues attempts to lure female journalist onto his boat to sexually humiliate her and embarrass her news organization.
Jesus Christ, these people just won’t stop with the invented controversies.
It almost feels like we’re intentionally being distracted from something.
Possibly the ludicrous imbalance of power and wealth concentrated at the top.
The notes on how to handle PR misfires are especially telling.
As is the phrase “inherent sexuality.”
Yet another example of The Heisenberg Sexcertainty Principle
You may not not where a woman is.
Or how fast she is going.
But you know that she is being sexy and alluring.
Right. This. Moment.
Because the video makes clear that Boudreau wasn’t in the mood for this cloak and dagger bullshit.
And a little pissed he wasted so much of her time.
ALSO: He is attacking all female journalists and their capacity to objectively report the news without being subject to the Male Gaze.
I’m pretty sure that my feeling that O’Keefe’s heart is filled with dog vomit and cigarette butts is driving my anti-misogynistic reading of this incident.
“I once hosted an introverted party. Everyone came over and did their own thing without talking to each other—homework, laptop stuff, collages, cooking. It was amazing, quiet time in the company of friends. I think fishermen and people-who-sit-on-porch-rocking-chairs know what I’m talking about.”—
I think 30 Rock is like that deeply fucked-up friend you have who keeps openly acknowledging that he or she is fucked-up. Which is the weirdest thing, because the fact that they acknowledge how flawed they are makes you think they’re somehow… not-flawed? Like, there’s Steve the Fuck-Up and Steve the Cool and Level-Headed Observer of How Fucked Up Steve Is? And you think you are only friends with the second Steve? The Steve who is so smart and together that he is somehow even smarter and more together than Steve himself, thus causing a rift in the space-time continuum which will destroy you all one day. But then you realize that, no matter how self-aware The Two Faces Of Steve may appear to be, they keep acting like fuck-ups, and in fact the constant acknowledgement of the fuck-ups is a sort of evil genius move, because it’s not like they didn’t tell you. And knowing how fucked up they are, and telling you about it, somehow re-writes the rules of human interaction so that they don’t actually have to try to do better.
The only way you can find something anti-gay, is by twisting words and taking certain parts out of context - which, I’m sure you know, is a very frowned upon method of debating.
That is what I do. I pick things apart and examine them. Everyone on the Internet is free to do the same to me - that would amuse me greatly. I find that once I do this for my friends, pick these people apart and comment on the mechanics of their ignorance, it makes it easier for my friends to respond to things like this with something besides inarticulate key mashing and anger. This isn’t about the OP, or you, or any of the people of the Internet that think that laughing at oppression makes them unique. This is about US. This is about OUR ability to live in the real world without feeling full of rage or hopeless all the time. Any thing that makes these people happy is good and anything that makes their lives harder is bad. I will continue to be mean, nasty, dismissive, sarcastic, cruel, ugly, and snarky to defend the people I care about from pieces of shit who just want attention and controversy, and are willing to cause them distress in order to masturbate their own sense of entitlement.
Because I am Garland Motherfucking Grey. And I troll for Social Justice.
You are not advancing any cause when you do this. You are making people rightfully angry about linking these two distinct civil rights movements. Gay is not the new black. Gay is not the new black. Gay is not the new black. LGBT rights are the cause…
Not one of you, even the people I am following (minus the trans folk, obviously) have avoided messing up on this. It is subtle, it is small and every time you do it you hammer the nails into our feet a little deeper.
Every time you equate penis with sexism, erasing those women and nonbinaries with penises.
Every time you equate childbirth with motherhood and women, erasing those men and nonbinaries who give birth
Every time you evoke vaginal wording to describe sisterhood or womanhood, whether it’s “cunt power”, “sisterhood of the clit” whatever, you stab every woman who has no vagina, no cunt, no clit, no vulva, no uterus, no nothing of that sort in the back and toss us out of the sisterhood that we have as much right to as you.
Every time you wonder if society got rid of social gender, would trans people stop existing, you walk on our faces.
Every time you say transwoman and transman, as though we’re not really women or men but a merged concept, you erase our genders.
Every time you sum up gender as a binary, or even just a spectrum between poles, you erase every single person with a gender that doesn’t fit that zone (and there are many)
Every time you say women and trans women or women, men and transgender, you tell us that our genders are not valid, not as real as yours.
Every time you do these things, you don’t see it. You’re feminists. You’re anarchists. You’re vegans. You’re anti racists and anti Islamophobia advocates. You’re advocates of birthing rights and socialists, anti capitalists, multiculturalists. You’re disability advocates and womanists. Fat positive, anti body policing, anti rape, social activists and writers. You’re friends and family, lovers and colleagues.
And you all do it. Every cis person I know.
Every. Last. One.
You don’t see it. But we do. We feel the knife go in. We watch the painful hypocrisy of people who make it their career, their life’s work to fight privilege and make people see through its fog, to fight white supremacy, or sexism or ableism or fatphobia or millions of other horrific systems of supremacy and dominance and control exerted against people, exercising their cissupremacy, the boot firmly planted on our necks and they don’t even see it.
But we feel it.
Next time you talk about childbirth, remember not everyone who gives birth is a mother. Next time you talk about how many women are raped, remember that a significant group of those women, of us, don’t have vaginas. Next time you talk about sisterhood, try to remember that you have nonbinary siblings and brothers with the organs you use to label your sisterhood and sisters who lack them. Try to remember that penis is not the enemy because women have them too. Try to remember that theorizing about gender isn’t very helpful when you don’t know shit about the people who experience it most directly, most vividly, most painfully.
Try to remember to look past your cis privilege and maybe take that damn boot off our necks once in a while instead of looking into the distance and ignoring the choking.
Because I’d like to be able to breathe.
Just a bit.
I’ve grown kind of numb to constantly being erased, and this made me tear up a little.
“There are no statistics about how many Afghan girls masquerade as boys. But when asked, Afghans of several generations can often tell a story of a female relative, friend, neighbor or co-worker who grew up disguised as a boy. To those who know, these children are often referred to as neither “daughter” nor “son” in conversation, but as “bacha posh,” which literally means “dressed up as a boy” in Dari.”—
I saw this on the news, and get the feeling that U.S. folk view this as unjust and cruel. And, yes, it’s terrible that this is the only way young girls can be sure to get an education, and that the female and feminine are culturally devalued, as they are in many places in the world. But I sense an undercurrent of “it’s AWFUL to FORCE children to be a gender they’re not!” without a single thought to how early we force gender on children in the United States - both cisgender and transgender, sex-typical and intersex - and how completely shitty we treat those who question this system.
15. fuck the word “uppity.” you do not have to choose any community over the other, academic, of color, queer, political, mixed, poor, transgender, from the hood. if possible, embrace & let them all live, inform, and complicate one another.
14. odds are you will be forced to study mostly white, straight, skinny,cisgender, european/anglo, possibly rich people’s discourse. read itto read it, to unlearn it. find the work that really calls your skilland passions.
14.5 when a friend of privilege calls you or intros you as their _______ [insert race, ethnicity, sexuality, identity here], back fist them. no wait, don’t. hmmm, well maybe. no, don’t. talk it out & if that doesn’t work out, dump them.
13. take advantage of the fancy gym membership if you can.
12. all the “free” food in the cafeteria isn’t really free. it’s actually money you are going to owe well beyond your diploma plus interest and by then, you’ll actually need real free food.
11. you may wake up late to your classes because you’ve shacked up with a new lover. don’t forget that the diploma will probably lead you to better lovers. studying before sex.
11.99 always practice safer sex: communication, consent, gloves, dams, condoms, etc.
10. as professors look to you to speak for your entire people (queer, people of color, asian, people with disabilities, etc.), clenchyour jaw the way you do to a fist. anything you say here will be misinterpreted. any response you have is genuine.
9. when you feel uncomfortable/unsafe in either bathroom options “mens” or “womens” find your nearest GSA or supportive faculty and peers. let them listen to you. what you can you do to make the campus more transgender-empowered.
8. when your dorm roommate shops at bloomingdales, barney’s & co, and gets upset when her dad gets her the hunter green range rover instead of black (like she requested). don’t show that you add up the total she’s spent on how that would pay your family’s food, mortgage, how your family/friends don’t make that much in annual salary. don’t workshop her, you aren’t paid for it and you both will just end up staring blankly at one another which will prove awkward when you will both be sharing the same closet, sleeping, and eating space.
7. if a classmate in your composition & rhetoric class says, they shouldn’t live in the u.s. if they don’t speak english. run to your homeland tongue(s), read poetry only in this language for an hour, appreciate it’s curve and girth. go back to your neighborhood if you can and hear the languages that you grew up with—- in the market, at church, over a table of dominoes or majong.
6.32 there is a possibility that a classmate or roommate may confuse you as the help or as a foreign exchange student. kindly step away and do your homework. tell them off only if you won’t let it rot you.
6.18 you are brilliant and you deserve to be here. let no one questionthat.
6. your final transcript will not say: grandpa died your freshman year, hence the incomplete; your girlfriend is abusive and hits you, hence the tardiness; you will be considered a hero and a traitor to your family for being educated and for being educated.
5.60 take crying breaks. they help, honest.
5. don’t sign-up for any credit cards.
4.75 take care of yourself financially, holistically, emotionally, and spiritually. ALL are critical for your moving beyond survival, but joyous action.
4. when the liberal gay white people tell you to just come out to yourfamily, understand they have no idea what is going on in your life or how your race/ethnicity/cultures are so different. find other queer people of color and allies (if they exist where you are) to support you.
3.76 there may be a moment when white people—straight and LGBTQGNC will exotify you under the guise of being “radical.” ignore them at all costs but be civil. they are dangerous.
3. you are brilliant and you deserve to be here. let no one questionthat.
2.29 somewhere there is a mentor, an organization, a department, a club that thinks you are amazing. keep them in your life for as long as you can. they will have your back.
2. grades are the paper of it and you need the grades to play the game. get good grades, but seek communities committed to work that you are curious about or committed to.
1. this is a system meant to destroy you. you may lose some of yourself in the process. understand that is the sacrifice and that you will re-build some of yourself too. promise.
Too amazing and true to not reblog. As someone who went to an overwhelmingly white/privileged/cisgender private university, this would have helped me a lot back in the day. We’ve got a lot of college-aged followers - please take note.
So, when people get up in arms that “sending this minor/near-minor to prison for rape/harassing someone until they kill themselves/hate crimes will DESTROY THE REST OF THEIR LIVES”, why the everloving fuck is the solution always “don’t send them to prison”, and never “reform prisons”?
Ok, so, Garland Grey (who I should’ve just directed my last post to, as he is the gifmaster in these parts) suggested (with the help of gifs) using “upload photo” (oh look there it is!) while I’ve been using Tinypic. And I won’t get the gray boxes. Yay, right?
But if my gif is too big, it seems, it ceases to be animated. Boo, right?
And so I used my googles and no one seems to have a way around this. Tinypic=gray boxes, Upload Photo=under 500kb or whatever. This is mixed news. How will your dashboard know when I’m delightfully drunk unless I have all 3 MB of delightfully drunk Buffy? So, either tumblr should get on this GIF thing, ooor, how do I make gifs smaller (if I stole most of them and am gif-stupid)?
“Everyone has secrets. Your roommate might not know how to put in a tampon, or the skinniest girl on campus might have secret Twinkie binges every night. But these secrets don’t affect anyone else, while yours does. Some girls might have chosen to live in the sorority house because they don’t want to live with guys who could be checking them out, and even if you don’t have a crush on any specific girl, you’re right that your sexual orientation would make them uncomfortable. It would be just as unethical for you to “pretend to be straight” to avoid discomfort as it would be for a guy to get breast implants in order to land a sweet single in Balch. No matter what the motivation, placing your roommates in a situation that could potentially make them very uncomfortable if they knew the truth is just not ethical.”—
Elisabeth Rosen, you are full of shit. What the fuck is an “ethicist?” Does it mandate rigid, unnuanced adherence to a set of inflexible principals? One of your readers tells you she thinks she might be queer and your first response is hand-wringing over the discomfort of heterosexuals? This woman has an entire lifetime of having her rights abridged to avoid making heterosexuals uncomfortable. I swear to Christ, straight people must be made of cotton candy and spider webs, judging by the unbounded terror that queer lives evoke in them. We can’t teach children that queers exist because it will make straight people uncomfortable. We can’t serve openly because it will make straight people uncomfortable. I can’t walk down the street holding hands because a straight person might become uncomfortable enough to try and murder me.
Oh, and that example you gave? About a man having breast implants surgically added to infiltrate the spaces of women? That is exactly the same transphobic bullshit that is used to keep women out of the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival each year. One would think an “ethicist” would know better than to make light of a person’s transition and realize people don’t do it for better housing assignments.
In closing, your advice column is banal. This line: “You know the saying about two wrongs not making a right? Well, two cheating partners don’t make a healthy relationship” makes me think you’ve been eating silica packets.